For so long I took pride in being the glue that kept my family together.
I took pride in being everyone else’s crutch.
Took pride in being the one that was always there for everyone.
But just like every intensive spot, over time there will be damage. Ligament tears, shoulder replacements, knee replacements.
Being so busy being there for everyone else, didn’t even leave me with the to check in on myself…
To check in on the damage….on my own tears.
My body is finally giving in and I no longer think I can or care to be that person anymore.
My older sister and I use to joke about, still joke about. The fact we were the parents growing up.
I have to dedicate an entire week of posts to really explain my family, sooo then u truly truly can understand the dysfunction. And even then you may not. Especially if your a plain Jane American from Texas….not where the Mexicans have to live.
But while that joke make have yield a few laughs, there was also a sad truth behind.
I lost a huge portion of my childhood because of it, or just being able to be a child.
And it never bothered me before, but now as an Adult and just from the different things I’ve learned and from actually working with children. It makes me question how much of my ownself got lost away.
I guess we can go back to the top, to the original purpose of this post…..
I hold a lot of resentment when it comes to my family. And some days it’s hard to differentiate resentment from anger.